Author: Michelle Troutman

For more than ten years, Michelle Troutman has crafted newsletters and other content for service providers. She has spent a decade creating attention-getting e-newsletters for law and economic development firms. Her marketing and business administration background and education enhance clear and persuasive copy. Through features in publications like "Attorney at Work" and "Law Fuel," and her e-newsletter and YouTube channel, she inspires professionals to create engaging content. She enjoys helping businesses who serve others reach their marketing goals.

arrogance in writing, arrogant writing, business communication, business writing, pompous writing, writing advice

5 Ways to Avoid Pompous Business Writing or “Business-ese”

Michelle Troutman

Have you ever felt like you were drowning in pompous business writing? You know, the kind that stuffs jargon into every sentence, burying simple ideas under big words?

It might sound impressive, yet it builds walls between you and your audience. Leave the robospeak to AI and learn how to speak with your audience one-on-one.

See every step outlined in this blog in this YouTube video playlist.

1. Watch your wording – Do you use a “five-dollar” word when a “ten-cent” term will do? Unless it’s appropriate for your audience, drop the formality. Speak in plain English.

Example: utilize
Revised: use

A study found that people see writers who use overly complex language as less intelligent. Simpler terms come across as friendly and approachable. They ease understanding, keeping your readers focused.

2. Trim the fat – Sentences without a period in sight can tire readers’ eyes. Keep them to 16 or fewer words or an eighth-grade reading level.

3. Your subjects matter – Are you writing for busy CEOs who value concise information or recent graduates who need more details? To connect with readers and avoid pompous business writing, step into their shoes. Hang out in forums or social media groups they frequent.

Questions to ask:

Which questions do they ask?
Which language do they use?
Which topics are they interested in?
How can you explain concepts clearly?

Consider surveying them. Anonymous options can encourage open responses.

4. Get feedback – Show your writing to friends or colleagues you trust who know your audience. They can pinpoint language that might go over readers’ heads to help you pitch pompous business writing and sharpen your image.

5. Lighten up – “Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.” ~ Johnny Carson. Like writing, humor is subjective. Some could find that quote shocking, while others might laugh.

Like a lecture that drones on, bland text, especially the passive voice, puts readers to sleep. Speak to them directly: stop commanding and start chatting with them. If your writing feels as stiff as concrete, as appropriate, soften it with a lighter touch.

For more creative turns of phrase, read 35 Overused Business Words with Alternatives by Cathy Miller.

Which words do you find pompous or stuffy? Feel free to comment below.

Discover how to reach customers who value and respect you and your business

get my checklist to create content to reach the right clients

Quotes

“Clutter is the disease of American writing. We are a society strangling in unnecessary words, circular constructions, pompous frills, and meaningless jargon.” ~ William Zinsser, On Writing Well

“Boastful or arrogant writing is as repellent as a boastful or arrogant person.” ~Richard Palmer, Write in Style: a Guide to Good English

writing advice

5 Words to Remove to Improve Your Writing

1. Assist — This word has positive connotations — its popularity isn’t surprising. It sounds a little stuffy, though. It’s good to keep it in your vocabulary, but alternate it with shorter and sweeter “aid,” “serve,” or “help,” depending on the meaning of the sentence and how it reads.

2. Utilize — It’s a little complex for plain English. As “Grammar Girl” Mignon Fogarty has said, “‘Utilize’ has some specific, appropriate uses. Biological organisms are properly said to ‘utilize’ nutrients. If you’re a general writer, however, it’s usually best to stick with ‘use.'”

3. Implement — It sounds important, and depending on its use as a noun or a verb, it can be hard to visualize its meaning. It’s not a verb for the lazy; it’s often used to mean “to put into use” or “to complete,” in the sense that a business has met a goal. So, for variety, “perform,” “complete,” “finish,” or if you’re not too harsh, “execute.”

4. Establish — It has its place. Sometimes “found,” in the sense that someone starts something, such as a business, works better.

5. Accomplish — Another lofty word, the simpler alternative, “achieve,” can also show results.

Quotes

“People who work in specialized fields seem to have their own language. Practitioners develop a shorthand to communicate among themselves. The jargon can almost sound like a foreign language.” ~ Barry Ritholtz

“There are two rules to good communication — say what you mean and mean what you say.” ~ Tim Phillips, Talk Normal: Stop the Business Speak, Jargon and Waffle

Comments? Suggestions? Need help? Feel free to contact me.

Michelle Troutman
classywriting.com

writing advice

5 Ways to Write Mobile Website Content

1. Stay on top — Putting attention-grabbing text first has always been important — more so with mobile website content. For example, email summaries can appear in on-screen windows, so you want to catch as many eyes as possible.

2. Less is more — Keep email, blog, and website headlines short. Crop copy to only one or two main ideas per page.

3. Link it — If you’re writing for more than one device, one way to “mobilize” longer website or blog content is to separate it into different pages and add click here to read more or next page links at the bottom.

4. Scannability — Make your text easier on the eyes; my newsletter features more online content formatting advice.

5. Personality — Your mobile website content don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got some zing. Pizzazz suits the smaller screen. It’s more about what you say and how you say it. People tend to see themselves in their smartphones and in their tablets. The more personal nature of these devices means your content should be more personal, too — emphasize “you” more than “I.”

Quotes

“If you’re not using mobile marketing to attract new customers to your business, don’t worry — your competitors are already using it and are getting those customers instead.” ~ Jamie Turner, 60SecondMarketer.com

“Mobile is not the future, it is the now. Meet your customers in the environment of their choice, not where it’s convenient for you.” ~ Cyndie Shaffstall, Spider Trainers

Comments? Suggestions? Need help? Feel free to contact me.

Michelle Troutman
classywriting.com

writing advice

5 Common Business Writing Errors

1. Over-capitalization — Sometimes business owners capitalize the first letter of every word in their copy, with the idea that it will get more attention. Not every word in your marketing materials should be or needs to be capitalized. Keep the caps for proper names, job titles, etc.

2. You or I — If you refer more to yourself and your services in your materials than to your customers and their needs, think again. Rephrase those passages with more “you” references and emphasize how your products or services benefit your customers.

Example: Let’s connect, so I will give a quick overview of what I do.
Revised: Let’s discuss how Theracare can relieve your pain and get you back on your feet again. Call 555-867-5309 today.

3. Mismatched words — Make sure singular and plural words match. Otherwise, reading can become an awkward experience.

Example: Do you have old postcards stored away and want to do something with them? It could be mementos from people you know and places you’ve been.
Revised: Do you have old postcards stored away and want to do something with them? They could be mementos from people you know and places you’ve been.

4. Punk-tuation — Do you use question marks when you ask a question. Maybe you just love to add exclamation points for excitement! Perhaps apostrophes are they’re, but there in the wrong places. These are some of the most distracting punctuation errors, as you’ve probably just noticed.

5. Redundancy — Cut unnecessary words.

Example: Please RSVP.
Revised: RSVP.

You’ll often see it on invitations. RSVP is an acronym for the French phrase “répondez s’il vous plaît,” which means “respond if you please.” Those of us who truly find French a foreign language might not know what it means, and if you often see the acronym only, you can easily forget the meaning.

Quotes

“If your ad is peppered with misspellings and grammatical errors, not only will it make the description difficult to read, the buyer might wonder if the seller is as lazy about the way she cares for and packs her items as she is about grammar and spelling.” ~ Dawn and Bobby Reno, The Unofficial Guide to eBay and Online Auctions

“Spelling is the clothing of words, their outward visible sign, and even those who favour sweatpants in everyday life like to make a bella figura, as the Italians say –- a good impression –- in their prose.” ~ Mary Norris, Between You & Me: Confessions of a Comma Queen

Comments? Suggestions? Need help? Feel free to contact me.

Michelle Troutman
Classy Writing
207.332.8379
classywriting.com

writing advice

5 Ways to Start Writing

1. For your eyes only — Shut down your inner critic and write with the goal that no one will read your words. Dive into the middle, if necessary, without a beginning or an ending. If you dislike your writing, trash it. This session can also warm-up your mind before a bigger task.

2. Pen pal — If you’re drawing a blank page, pretend you’re writing to someone you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts with. Who knows? You just might like what you read, and if you’re ready, show your muse your piece for his or her feedback.

3. Just say it — Maybe the keyboard or the pen aren’t the best instruments to play your theme. Perhaps speaking feels more natural, and your voice will provide the perfect pitch. If so, record your thoughts alone or in conversation with someone and see if that frees your mind.

4. Reward yourself — Looking forward to something can make our days brighter. Give yourself a writing goal, and treat yourself for completing it afterward. For example, finish two pages today and later hang out with a friend, watch a favorite TV show, or enjoy some chocolate. This act can also trick your mind into complying and the anticipation of your reward can entice you to follow through.

5. Keep time — A la the Pomodoro Technique, write for a set time period, such as 25 minutes, then take a five-minute break. Continue writing for another 20 minutes and take another break, if necessary. A change of routine can refresh us, yield a better perspective, and make us more productive.

Quotes

“There’s no such thing as writer’s block. That was invented by people in California who couldn’t write.” ~ Terry Prachett

“Convince yourself that you are working in clay, not marble, on paper, not eternal bronze: Let that first sentence be as stupid as it wishes.” ~ Jacques Barzun

Comments? Suggestions? Need help? Feel free to contact me.

Michelle Troutman
classywriting.com